Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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