nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
