dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
