1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
