her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
