never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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