My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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