its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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