You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize