didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize