absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
