haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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