Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
