I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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