I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
