a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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