Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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