yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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