It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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