I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
