she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
