it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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