The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
