i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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