My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
