Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
