i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
