I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His nipple licking is glorious
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