It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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