How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
they need to just BURY HIM!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
