where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
