So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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