he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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