im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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