he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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