I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
