Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Someone shattered a urinal.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
