party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
