he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
