Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And then he peed in my hair
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
