Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
