I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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