I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She's JV to your varsity
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
