you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
