I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
