Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize