I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
