Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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