She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
