addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
