I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
