I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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