So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
