Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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