My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
