You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
