Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
