I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
