Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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