he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize